OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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