So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
