Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
