just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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