Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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