saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
