When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
