I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Randomize
