why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
