Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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