FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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