SEEEEXXX PLEASE
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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