this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
