so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
