Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize