i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize