Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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