I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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