you guys were way drunker than both of me
I have demons in me.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
