i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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