Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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