tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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