I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
