I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
