My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
it's like iHOP with fire
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
