I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
