Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
