suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
