just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
