can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
