and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
