just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
