What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I just googled if crying burns calories
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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