I need help removing her.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Randomize
