I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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