what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
