he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
