awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
