You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
