I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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