so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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