Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
