i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Randomize
