exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
