Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
