What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Four minutes until I can fart!
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Randomize
