its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
