next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
