She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
My vagina is officially offended.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
