Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
