the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
