in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
