do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
