All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
