My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
My vagina just recognized that song.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
