i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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