I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
