I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
