guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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