toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
