God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize