matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
