Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
