After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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