Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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